BUGTONG-BUGTONG!!

(source: chicogarcia.wordpress.com)

1.Q: Anong hayop na ang paa niya, nasa ulo? A: Kuto.
2.Q: What’s the difference between a joke and rice-planting? A: Ang magtanim ay di biro…
3.Q: Ano ito - mabuhok, matigas, pasok-labas sa madilim na butas? A: TOOTHBRUSH.
4.Q: 2 fathers and 2 sons had dinner together. They were composed of 3 men. How is this possible? A: 1 is the grandfather, 1 is the father, 1 is the son.
5.Q: Sino ang asawa ni Mr. Bean? A: Eh di si Avrila Bean!
6.Q: Dinilaan ko’t pinatigas, bago ko ipas0k. Ano ito? A: Sinulid, bago ipasok sa karayom.
7.Q: Sinundot ni malambot ang puwet ni matigas. Sino sila? A: Karay0m at sinulid.
8.Q: Ang nawalan ay natawa, ang nakakuha ay nasuka. Ano ito? A: Utot.
9.Q: Bumaril ako sa baba, sa taas tumama. Ano ako? A: Utot.
10.Q: What’s 68? A: You do me & I owe you one.
11.Q: Pinasok ko matigas pa, nang inilabas ko’y malambot na. A: Chewing gum.
12.Q: What’s the difference between oooh & aaah? A: About 3 inches.
13.Q: Patpat kong matigas labas-masok sa butas, pag iyong idiniin langit ang mararating. A: Cotton buds.
14.Q: Anong “Pu” ang napapaligiran ng buhok? A: Puyo.
15.Q: Why did Meryl Streep? A: Because Michael J. Fox.
16.Q: Ano ang tawag sa hipon na laging nasasakuna? A: Accident Prawn.
17.Q: What do you call a cross between a bulldog and a shih tzu? A: Bull-sh*t.
18.Q: What is the one thing that has to be broken before it is used? A: An egg.
19.Q: Iisa ang pinasukan, tatlo ang linabasan. Ano ito? A: T-shirt.
20.Q: No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? A: Silence.
21.Q: The maker doesn’t want it. The buyer doesn’t use it. The user doesn’t see it. What is it? A: Coffin.
22.Q: What opens up when you put your fingers through its holes? A: Scissors!
23.Q: What is the other tagalog word for sex that starts with a “k” and ends with an “n”? A: Kasarian.
24.Q: Ano ang tawag sa pantalon ng kabayo? A: Paa.
25.Q: When I go forward I am heavy, but when I go backwards I am not. What ami I? A: TON.
26.Q: Anong hayop ang hindi nalalaos? A: BEAR. Kasi lagi siyang OSO!
27.Q: Andiyan na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka. Ano ito? A: Operadang bakla.
28.Q: Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina? A: Because he’s still living.
29.Q: There was an airplane crash. Every single pers0n died, but tw0 pe0ple survived. How is this possible? A: They were married.
30.Q: How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? A: One. After which your stomach would not be empty.
31.Q: What gets wetter as it dries? A: A towel.
32.Q: Kung gusto mo ako mabuhay ng matagal, patayin mo ako. Ano ako?A: Kandila.
33.Q: Kapag ito ay hinimas, ito ay tatayo ng mataas at matigas? Ano ito? A: Buntot ng pusa.
34.Q: What 4-letter word starts with an “F” and ends with a “K”, and if you can’t get one, you can always use your hands? A: Fork.
35.Q: The pope has it but doesn’t use it. Your dad has it and your m0m uses it. Your lady friend’s husband has it and she uses it. What is it? A: Surname.
36.Q: What part of the body grows up to 3 times its size when excited? A: The pupils of the eyes.
37.Q: How do you top a car? A: Tep on the brake, tupid!
38.Q: Saang lugar maraming baka? A: Macau.